


Corporeal Vices - The Virgin Sacrifice.

by Crowley_Kitten



Series: Crowley Kittens Bureaucracy [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel/Demon Relationship, Angel/Demon Sex, Beelzebub Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Beelzebub thoroughly enjoys having a vagina even if they don't subscribe to the gender binary, Biting, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Face Slapping, Gabriel Has a Penis (Good Omens), Ineffable Bureaucracy, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Nonbinary Beelzebub (Good Omens), Oral Sex, Purgas, Red Flags Everywhere, Scratching, THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY SEX LIFE, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Violent Fantasies, Violent Sex, Violent Thoughts, Virgin Gabriel (Good Omens), Virgin Sacrifice, consent is dubious at best, damn good thing they're into it, discussions of biting off genitalia, discussions of killing during battle, discussions of prisoners of war, fear/lust/disgust, if you're into this outside of fiction get help, if your relationship is like this RUN, please be safer and more consensual than these two. they're not an example of healthy relationships, red flags, seriously, the No Mans Land Pub, these two are basically both quite rapey, this is SO not a guide to a healthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 05:48:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29870091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowley_Kitten/pseuds/Crowley_Kitten
Summary: Following a disastrous trial of the traitor, Crowley, Beelzebub storms back to The No Mans Land. a pub nearby to the head offices of heaven and hell which has always served as neutral territory. they need a drink. and they need a release. and that stuck up archangel is something they've never admitted they desire until now.
Relationships: Beelzebub & Gabriel (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Crowley Kittens Bureaucracy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196090
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Corporeal Vices - The Virgin Sacrifice.

**Author's Note:**

> Purga. = a soul from Purgatory trying to work their way into heaven or hell through servitude to the celestial and infernal beings on the Earthly plan. 
> 
> this is not a how to guide.  
> Beelzebub and Gabriels relationship is NOT healthy.  
> they are not so interested in consent.  
> they get off on hurting and humiliating each other.  
> they are two forests of red flags wrapped up in a semblance of two immortal beings. 
> 
> if your real relationship is like theirs, strap on your running shoes and run for the hills. 
> 
> what is hot in fiction can be hideous in real life. 
> 
> they're both into hurting and humiliating each other, and a constant power struggle. 
> 
> this is not a healthy, safe, consensual relationship. 
> 
> but it's fun to explore in fiction, right?

The No Man's land was a dingy, run-down pub. Developers had no idea why it still existed, on the corner of an expensive street, surrounded by very expensive office buildings. And yet, here it was. It certainly wasn’t the sort of place some high flying advertising exec, or rich banker, or highly respected solicitor would take a working lunch. 

Its carpet was worn, had a number of suspicious stains, and was somewhat sticky. The bar staff were gruff and surly, looking like they were more at home breaking up fights than serving a bottle of something expensive to impress business associates (although a closer glance at the wine list would reveal that if they were to order such a vintage, it was in stock, but most who came in to see what it was like, left again after a quick glance around) It was like it was designed to put off the casual visitor. And it was. 

The No Mans land was most decidedly out of place. Only ever used by workers who came in and out of ONE office building on the street. The most glistening, towering monolith of a building. The one with a sparkling, high ceilinged lobby, with two escalators. 

Those workers themselves were also out of place. Strangely dressed and strangely mannered. Many had an accompanying strange smell. Many a sharply dressed businessman had crossed the road to avoid them. Especially the white-haired one with the grubby trenchcoat. Or the small, fierce, blue-eyed woman (although they wouldn’t have known that 'she' would have spat at them if they called them that) with a strange speech impediment and an expression that clearly expressed ‘100% done with this shit’. Not to mention the balding man with the shit-eating grin, and eyes that spoke of a truly cruel nature, and a pride in that.   
  
The heavy wooden door slammed open hard, and a whirlwind of spiky dark hair, savage blue eyes and the buzzing of a swarm of corpse flies burst in.    
  
“I NEED A DRINK!!” The small Prince demanded. “Something obnoxiouzzzz. Creamy. Curdled even. It needszzz a fucking umbrella and a curly straw, or I will have your entrailszz as a canape!”   
  
“Yes, my infernal prince. Right away” The barman's hands shook as he knocked together a concoction of Irish cream, whipped egg yolks and strong spirits. It looked disgusting and smelled sickly sweet. So they knew it was just right. They added an umbrella, an olive and a prawn on a stick, added a freshly shucked oyster and its juices, and an extra shot of tequila. Beelzebub sucked down a deep swallow and grinned with too many teeth.    
  
“Keep the drinkzzzz coming. I’ve had the WORST day. Don't zzzupose you have any idea how a demon can become immune to fucking holy water?” The barman shook his head.    
  
“I’m just a Purga, your infernal highness. I know little of either upstairs or downstairs. The door opened more warily this time, the tall figure stopping to take off his dove-grey jacket, hanging his cashmere scarf with it. He took off his butter-soft leather gloves and put them into the pocket of his hanging jacket. “Anything for you, your excellency?”    
  
“Um...no... I don’t.... partake... I’m here to talk to THEM.” They said pointedly before the Purga indicated a dark corner by the fireplace, where Prince Beelzebub had already slugged back most of their rather disgusting cocktail. They gestured for another, yelling that they wanted the best raw meat under the roof as soon as possible. In a brief time, the barman brought them a steak tartare, a platter of sashimi, and a still semi-frozen raw chicken kiev. A favourite of theirs. The Prince began picking over the plates. Hungrily. Savagely. making Gabriel wince at the sight.    
  
“Zszzo the Angel was unharmed too?!”   
  
“Afraid so. Would have been glad to see the back of him. He's always been singing from a different hymn sheet than the rest of us. And your guy?”   
  
“Baszztard practically luxuriated in it. Might as well have been an aromatherapy bubble bath.”   
  
“Any ideas? Anything at all?” Beelzebub shook their head. Pale blue eyes blank and wide.    
  
“I wazzz going to kill you, you know.” The Prince of Hell smiled fondly. “I hoped I would be able to rip out your szztupid throat with my teeth....”    
  
“I was going to take you as a prisoner of war.” Gabriel responded. “I was going to keep you on your knees serving me for all eternity, until you BEGGED me to end you.”   
  
“You would never have won. You know that?”   
  
“You’re kidding yourself. Heaven was always going to win.” Beelzebub snorted.    
  
“Maybe I’d have Dagon rip your cock off with her lovely razzzor sharp teeth firszzzt.... Now that’s szomething I would have wanked myzzelfztupid over for all eternity.”   
  
Gabriel swallowed hard.    
  
“You....um.... touch yourself....thinking about me?” Beelzebubs eyes flashed suddenly unguarded.    
  
“I think about a LOT of thingszz when I touch myself. Some of it would give you nightmarezz.” That strange plural rattling buzz, like they spoke with multiple voices. it didn’t seem polite to ask, ‘Are you actually more than one of you?’ Gabriel had often wondered. He thought about the haughty little bitch far more often than he would admit to.    
  
“Good thing I don’t sleep then.... and that wasn’t a no.” Gabriels irritatingly handsome face split into a dazzling, white-toothed smile, violet eyes twinkling. The demon felt an irrational desire to punch him in the jaw. The thought made them smile back. A cold, cruel smile. Gabriel's chuckle died in his throat as he felt a boot-clad foot slide up the inside of his thighs. He swallowed hard as the narrow heel ground down on his already half-hard cock.    
  
“The things I think about doing to you... they’d make your hair turn grey, pigeon.” Sharp teeth glinted in the wicked curve of the Prince's vicious grin. Gabriel muffled a whine that escaped involuntarily. “and... I KNOW...you WANT me to do them to you....” There was a soft pink flush creeping up his neck. A telltale hitch in his breathing. The Prince stood, leaning in close, face to face. “I’m a demon, Gabriel.... I can SMELL the lust rolling off you right now.... you WANT me. You want me to uzzze you. You want me to ruin you.... you want me to leave you wrecked and bleeding” His eyelids fluttered closed with a soft sigh. Oh Jesus Fucking Christ, he DID. He was an Angel. And not just ANY Angel, he was one of the most powerful Archangels in Heaven. He shouldn’t WANT this. Goosebumps prickled his skin, with a cold sweat of fear and desire.    
  
“I.... I don’t indulge in.... in corporeal vices.....” he said, more to himself than the evil grinning face before him. A low, rumbling growl began low in the demon's throat, a savage light in their eyes.   
  
“Hmmm....a Virgin Sacrifice.....it’s been a while since I’ve had one of those.....” Gabriel was blushing fiercely now, the Lust emanating from him was palpable. Beelzebub rolled their head back, their tongue curled to the roof of their mouth to taste the headiness of it. Angelic Lust. It tasted so good. Lust, tinged with fear and a pleasant seasoning of defiance. They hoped he would fight them. The Prince stormed to the bar, snarling. “PUBS CLOZED! GET OUT!” the Purga scarpered obediently. With a snap of their fingers, the door was locked, the sign switched to closed. “COME HERE YOU OVERBLOWN PEACOCK!” Gabriel's face paled, as his feet obeyed. Fear and lust fighting for dominance. The conflict on his strong features clear. Bee grabbed a bottle of expensive tequila, slugging it back like it was water, and holding the bottle out. “Drink. You can’t just dive in at the deep end with physical experiencezzzz.” He gritted his teeth and swallowed, exploding into a fit of coughing, the burning liquid flaming back up through his nose. Beelzebub grinned. “Very good, Pigeon.”   
  
“Is this going to hurt?” The Demon felt briefly softened by his open vulnerability. 

“If we do it right.” They looked up, blue eyes into his violet eyes. Beautiful, beautiful eyes, They thought. Their touch softened briefly, before snarling their grip up in the hair at the back of his head and dragging him down into a brutal kiss, sharp teeth scraping his lip until he opened with a gasp, his painfully hard cock pressing ramrod like into their belly. His arms tightened around narrow ribs and he surrendered to the savagery of that mouth on his. Beelzebub whimpered as their arousal flared violently. Gabriel moaned in answer, fuck, this was IT. This was EVERYTHING he never knew he wanted. Raw and visceral and cruel. The Prince let their nails become claws, and the press of them into his skin made him gasp frantically for breath, his heart hammering. He had never felt so... Physical. So Earthly. So utterly alive. So terrified or so intensely aroused.   
  
Small hands fumbled at his belt, reaching in to grip him firmly. He hissed through his teeth and began to tremble violently. Nothing had EVER felt like this. He'd never even touched himself. To think, the world nearly ended without getting to know THIS. It never looked like it would feel as good as this. It looked messy and sweaty and uncomfortable. He didn’t understand the fuss. Now it was all he could think about. The small thumb slicked over his dripping cockhead. It was almost painful, how intense the sensation was. Long, confident strokes made his mind go utterly blank. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He felt lightheaded. The air was too thin, he was going to die, his heart was going to burst. Then.... then he felt his body explode, felt time slow and stretch and snap back, his knees giving out beneath him. Beelzebub gazing down at them now, a sneer on their lips. They raised a sticky hand to their face, inhaling the scent of.... had that come from him? Fuck. A rather too long tongue trailed out, curling around each finger, licking the pale substance away. The Prince Moaned as if it were delicious. But, knowing their idea of delicious, maybe it was. Gabriel didn’t know if he was disgusted or aroused. His dick was hardening again. Scared and disgusted and overwhelmingly turned on. 

“SsZzzzo, PIGEON..... How wazzz that?” Gabriel was still shaking. Still gasping for breath. “La Petite Mort.” The demon said fondly. “You’re as weak azzz a kitten. I could KILL you now, and you couldn’t stop me....” Gabriel was embarrassed by the sound he made. Something between a whine and a moan and a whimper. “Now it’zzzz my turn.” The Demon hoisted themselves up on to the bar, making their trousers disappear with a sharp snap of their fingers. Gabriel swallowed hard. The smart little boots and fishnet ankle socks. The shapely calves, pale, milky thighs that were long and inviting. Beelzebub watched his eyes travelling slowly over their body, slowly parting their legs. There was a dark, raven glossy thatch of lightly curled hair, and as their thighs opened wide, a flushed deep pink, glistening opening. The Prince ran their fingers down their clothed torso, unfastening their jacket and shirt, revealing small, high, firm breasts, nipples erect and blushing darkly, becoming tighter as the cool air hit their nakedness. The lightly covered ribs of their narrow torso, and softly rounded belly. Their fingers trailed down lower, parting the slick folds to show him what was there, circling lightly over their large, prominent clitoris. Their breath sharpened under their own touch. As they let their head fall back. “Do you like my Cunt, Archangel?” They whispered softly, working their fingers quicker over the nub of nerve endings, ring finger slicking up and down their labia. Making them shine with their juices.   
  
“Um.... I..... it’s not how I thought one of those would look....”    
  
“I could manifest a cock if you’d rather...... but I prefer my cunt.... maybe you should try one of your own one day......” Their panting increased, hands beginning to shake.    
  
“I.... er.... this is fine.... better than fine...I think....” He reached out a tentative hand, cupping their breast lightly. His thumb teasing over their nipple. They gasped and arched their back. Taking his hand and guiding it down. He was surprised by the heat of it. The slippery slickness. It was.... slimy..., he thought. He felt like he should be disgusted but instead, it was like a magnetic pull, his heart and lungs quickening with excitement. They guided him to stroke them as they hand been stroking themself, circling the sensitive peak with his thumb, and then letting his fingers slide inside. He moaned as he felt the muscular walls gripping and releasing his fingers in time with the thrusts. Beelzebubs slicked fingers trailed over his lips, and when his mouth opened pressed inside, the taste was unfamiliar., but then all tastes were, really. Musky and warm and pulled tighter onto the sensation of being dragged towards this. He definitely preferred the taste to the tequila. Sucking on the fingers that thrust in and out of his mouth as he fingered that wet heat between the demons shaking thighs. A low buzz rumbled in their chest, growing gradually louder, and Gabriel felt bloated fat flies battering against his face with a sense that he should have felt repulsed.    
  
“Ahhhhh,…..Ahhhh...AHHHHHH ARRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” the pitch of the Princes cries grew higher, the buzzing louder. Gabriel noticed with a morbid fascination as the number of pupils in each laser blue eye changed constantly, JESUS! Demons are weird! Their parted lips showed savagely pointed teeth as they fucked themselves harder on his fingers. The entire sclera of their eyes becoming black and terrifyingly fathomless as their head fell back in a savage snarl, slick muscles inside them rippling over his fingers as the bottles in the bar, and the glass of the windows rattled. The demon went limp, falling forwards into his arms, panting like they’d run a marathon. “FUCKING HEAVENLY FUCKING CHOIRSZZZZ!” they gasped. “you’d better be as good with your cock as with your fingerzzzz.”   
  
“I only live to please you, my Prince.” He pushed forwards, kissing roughly and clumsy with inexperience. He was KISSING a Demon. He was painfully hard for a Demon. FUCK, they were beautiful. Beautiful like a devastating storm. Like a Tsunami. Like the rivers of blood at the first great battle. Beautiful like the great flood. Beautiful like the carpenter, blood-streaked and world-changing at his execution. The Prince took another massive slug of Tequila, pushing his head down their soft, pliant body. He sucked at their nipples, moaning softly. Those breasts felt so good under his lips. Firm and tight and high and soft, all at the same time. The hand on his head pushed harder downwards, and he obeyed. Over the soft, slight curve of their belly, the coarse curled hairs. He pressed his mouth greedily to the swollen lips of their vulva. He groaned into them, his tongue eagerly exploring. Feeling powerful at the sounds he caused to rip out of that throat. They poured the tequila down the centre of their chest, and Gabriel found the tequila flavour more enticing now, mixed with the slick of the Demons wet cunt. He lapped eagerly, loving feeling the tremors of the flesh under his fingers. Under his roaming mouth and tongue. They jumped down from the bar, slamming the Archangel into the wall, kissing him savagely, snarling. the heady mix of fear and desire left Gabriel swooning. He was snapped out of his swoon by a fierce slap to the cheek. He startled, his hand lying over the freshly stung skin.    
  
“FUCK YOU!” the Prince snarled.   
  
“I wish you would, honey. I wish you WOULD just fuck me already.” He raised his hand, thrilling to see the ice blue eyes close in readiness for the strike he didn’t let fall. Then the demon was on him, snarling, all bared teeth, multiple pairs of black feathered wings darkening the room. He panicked. Tried to throw them off. And then his trousers were gone, his cock jutting up proudly from his hips, trailing sticky pre-come on his shirt front.    
  
“They zzzay, you should be careful what you WISZZZH for.” The demon's claws tore through the fine tailoring of the archangels shirt and jacket, tearing welts into his toned abdomen, as they bared all of him for their enjoyment. “OH, FUCK, look at you....were you fucking DEZZIGNED to be ZZZooo attractive, you abzzzolute BASTARD!” Gabriel was panting.    
  
“They.... they wanted me to.... put people at ease....I’m a messenger....”   
  
“Hearing you loud and clear, Pigeon....” Their hand grasped him around his cock. “Truzzt you to pick such an obnoxiously larrrge appendage...”    
  
“Is it too big? I can... modify it....”    
  
“OooooOoh, you underezzztimate me, Pigeon.” The Prince Spat. “I AMMMM the Lord of the Fliezzzzz..... The Prinzze of the ssszin of Gluttony..... I can take ANYTHINGGGGG you can give me....” Gabriel spun them, slamming them into the wall, watching their pale face flush with excitement. “Yezzzzzz, give me that sacrifizze, VIRGIN!” Gabriel hoisted each pale thigh over these hips and slammed forward into the searing wet heat of the demon, who gasped. Eyelids half-mast, eyes unseeing as he pounded mercilessly into them. He was whimpering at the delicious wet, hot drag of the tight, muscular flesh around him. “YEZZZZZZ MY ARCHANGEL.....YEZZZZZZZZZ...... FUCK ME...... FUCK ME....fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme...” The words fell over and over from their parted lips. And the Archangel Gabriel, Messenger of God, obliged, slamming his hips almost painfully into that searing heat, that exquisite wetness. Over and over. His mouth gaping. His violet eyes unfocused and half-closed, as the sensation of being inside the demon overwhelmed him. There were claws in his shoulder, tearing through the flesh.    
  
“OHHHHhhhh.....” He gasped frantically, as his body began to tighten again, like it was going to tie itself in convoluted knots. “FUCK! BEE! FUCK!.....OH MY INFERNAL PRINCE..... MY DARK LORD......I..... I.....” His violet eyes rolled back as he felt that tight, hot, wet cunt, it’s juices streaming down his straining legs, tighten on him, milking his cock with fierce ripples of muscle. The world exploded again “I love you!” he snarled as his orgasm hit him like a speeding lorry. Shaking, his forehead dropped to the small, firm breasts, resting there against the savage stacatto of the demons skittering heart. The fingers in his hair gentled a little. Soft kisses pressed to his neck.    
  
  
  
“Thank you....my....my Archangel.....are you okay, Pigeon?” Gabriel began to laugh. The laugh becoming hysterical and disintegrating into an exhausted sobbing. The savage talons smoothed soothingly over his scalp until he stilled.    
  
it had been the most overwhelming experience of his life. And, Gabriel mused, maybe there was something to be said for corporeal vices after all. 


End file.
